5 Effective Ways to Manage Anger When Fighting with your Spouse
Couple Love-quarrel is a common thing. While we usually label this as 'normal', the simple quarrels could result to unrecognized deep wounds in your heart. Until it has made a hole of hatred and unforgiveness, only then you'll realize that the 'normal' quarrel had slowly wrecked your happy and peaceful relationship.
I am just as guilty as you are. Tho we usually fix our misundertandings as soon as we can, and go back to a 'happy wife, happy life', I couldn't simply forget the hurtful words my spouse had said.
Whenever we have fights, the hurt feelings I had from the past fights will rush back in my head bringing a more painful memory and a new bush of anger litting up inside me.
It was only then I realized these pattern of wounds, anger and hatred becoming deeper and deeper as the number of fights increases. So I listed things that could help manage our anger especially when fighting with our spouse.
5 Things That Could Help Manage Your Anger
1. Write down your anger.
Whether it's a paper, a text message, facebook post or email, wherever you feel like writing and having your spouse read it, WRITE IT DOWN. Type out whatever you wanted to say to your spouse. Curse and $hits, why your hurt, write it down. Read it over and over again. Write as many words as you can. Write it down.
Feel better now? because the next step is to DELETE IT.
I know. Why not send it to your spouse so s/he knows how boiling $hit you feel inside? Uh-uh, trust me, half of the things you've written, you don't mean it. So why risk hurting your spouse and causing another pain when you half-meant it.
2. Let go of your tears.
Wait, what?! I'm the man?!
C'mon, stop that 'I'm tough' lines your mama told you. Men has feelings too! Instead of throwing your newly bought iphone, why not express your vulnerability and just cry. It's FREE and always in Christmas Buy 1 take 1 sale. Yeah, you can thank me later when your wife loves you even more for that.
While crying is free, throwing punches on the wall or on your spouse could cost you a lot of money. Choose wisely.
There is nothing more relieving than releasing the heavy pain you felt inside.
3. Take a deep breath.
Yes. Take a deep breath and repeat it over and over again. Make it even more dramatic by closing your eyes and playing happy thoughts in your brain. Concentrating on things that are positive is a game changer.
You don't have to do anything but listen and take a deep breath. Self-control and gentle answer is powetful. You can't stop the fire with fire.
4. Eat and be fit.
Go. Take a walk around your neighborhood and bring your dog with you, and eat.
Uh-uh I'm on a diet.
C'mon! Then its the perfect time to eat healthy foods. A perfect time to bring back your relationship with food. I'm not a believer of 'foods make you fat'. It's the lack of discipline that makes you gain weight. It's okay to gain weight as long as it doesn't create health issues. We have to reframe our idea of 'perfect body'. (Okay, that is for another topic lol)
The point is, do something that pleases you and drift away your anger.
Oh I'm so hurt to take a quick trip on the park.
Nope. You're not getting away with this. Get inside your room and READ. It's the perfect time to reflect and listen to your inner voice. Reading the bible is a great idea. Not only it could entertain you but also it could enlighten you.
Anger shouldn't be taken for granted. It has wrecked down so many relationships and families. Leaving children to be the victim of uncontrolled emotions.
Hurtful words is more painful than a thousand swords. It is like a grass that penetrates through the good soil, it will grow roots, and one day it will sprout from the ground. Don't just cut it. Pull out its roots so it never grows back again.